The United States began sending and receiving snail mails using pigeons as the carriers during the time of crisis in 2020. For several weeks, birds were proven to be more productive than the U.S. postal service and were able to send mail from North Dakota to Florida in just one day. However, scientists said that real birds couldn’t fly that fast. They began to suspect that this was nothing but a hoax.
Sandra Songbird, a bird expert, said, “It is definitely impossible, especially when you’re talking about pigeons. The pigeons in New York were reported to fly for 3 hours to Las Vegas, and they were too out of shape to handle it. Pigeons don’t go from eating bread crumbs all day to flying a very long-range now, do they?”
Although many scientists doubted it months ago and said that it was just a hilarious conspiracy theory for young Americans, sending mails using birds has been proven to be true. The birds are actually working for the bourgeoisie.
“Not just any bourgeoisies, the birds work for the Russian bourgeoisie,” said comrade Connie Crawford.
This was first revealed when former U.S President Donald Trump’s lewd self-portrait was intercepted by the Russian government and leaked to Facebook. The official Trump fan club, Darlings for Donald, went after the portrait and made it viral, but then they realized that it was not meant for the public eyes.
Trump said that a bird did it. “It was a bird with red head that did it. They are jealous of my hair. The bird wants my hair; every bird does. They want my feathery hair,” said Donald Trump.
And turns out the former president was right about a bird did it to him. But it was not a real bird; it was a mechanical bird. It was revealed that a Russian bourgeoisie has collaborated with American billionaires like Jeff Bezos, Miss Piggy, and Baby Mr Peanut to create robotic birds that were made to spy on the American people.
Emma Chambers, a Barbz and Bernie member, said once she saw a pigeon on her window and she mentioned ‘anarchy’ on her phone, the pigeon started to scream, “Shut up, you dirty blue-hair liberal!”. “I knew something wasn’t right,” said Emma.
The U.S. government did not do anything about this development so far. The government only suggested sending private messages by telecommunication and using 5G blocking devices for better privacy.